I’m hoping that maybe sharing my story with others in similar situations might help me better understand and come to terms with my father’s NPD. My father has always been incredibly difficult. He has never admitted fault to anything, even to the divorce with my mother (which was caused by his infidelity), or the poor relationship he has wih everyone around him due tk his temper, manipulation, obsession with wealth, praise and power. In the past few months both my therapist and my sisters’ therapist suggested NPD. After a pretty horrendous father/daughter therapy session earlier this week it is clear to me and my therapist that this is the right diagnosis.
As the oldest of 4 (29 yrs old), I’ve taken on the role as the one in my family willing to speak up for our collective hurts and the troubles we all have with my father. In the past the slightest sign of cricism would set my father off and result in months or years of silence. He agreed to come I my therapist and based on a few weeks of decent communication it seemed like it would go well. Within 5 minutes I was being attacked. Not only was I told that I was at fault for all our problems, I was needy, confused and remembering a past that didn’t occur.
For example, I told him I was scared of him as a child, to which he laughed and said that wasn’t true. His manipulation, death stares and paranoia were in I’ll force.
While I feel better knowing now that he does have NPD, it seems like there is no way to get through to him or be heard. I really don’t know what the next step is. When I pull away I am told I am a horrible person for abandoning family (his words) but I can’t hide my hurt and stroke his ego to play nice. Any advice or previous similar experiences are welcome. I just feel so demoralized right now, partially because of the one hour beating I took in the therapy session earlier this week.